Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
