Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize