So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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