Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
