How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
