I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
