wanna go halves on a baby?
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
