We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
