I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
