Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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