he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i drank out of a bidet.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
