Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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