i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
