And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
