he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are my feet made of real feet?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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