ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
