only if we run a train.
done.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
