dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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