like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
