Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
