That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
