Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
