He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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