I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
