He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He did a backflip because drugs
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