I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
