the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
