glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Alive.
So much puke
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
