Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize