dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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