just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
my liver is dry heaving
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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