I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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