I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
