I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Randomize
