batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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