Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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