We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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