You're my little dorito
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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