remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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