Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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