Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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