the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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