so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
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He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
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I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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