idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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