Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I AM VODKA MAN
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
