I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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