im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize