At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
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