i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
