I wish I could teleport
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
