I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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