I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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