Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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