I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
We got so high we made milksteak
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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