Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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