I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
he thought i was a dude.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
They have beer where we have blood.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
