Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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