roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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