Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Gay?
German.
Pity.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
