i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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