i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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