he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Life is so much better after having sex.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
