I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
