I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
