perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
