Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
