I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
