Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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