I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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