Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
